{"id":15410,"date":"2018-12-27T11:39:38","date_gmt":"2018-12-27T11:39:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/skforum.at\/wp\/?p=15410"},"modified":"2018-12-27T11:39:39","modified_gmt":"2018-12-27T11:39:39","slug":"u-predvecerje","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/skforum.at\/wp\/u-predvecerje\/","title":{"rendered":"U PREDVE\u010cERJE"},"content":{"rendered":"

[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”3.11.1″ background_color=”#f7f7f7″ custom_padding=”50px|2px|50px|0px|false|false”][et_pb_row use_custom_width=”on” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” custom_padding_phone=”||0px|” custom_margin=”||” custom_padding_last_edited=”off|desktop” background_color_1=”#ffffff” padding_top_bottom_link_1=”true” padding_top_1=”20px” padding_bottom_1=”20px” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ border_radii=”|12px|12px|12px|12px” custom_css_main_element=”width: 100% !important;”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”3.0.47″ padding_bottom=”20px” padding_top=”20px” background_color=”#ffffff” parallax=”off” parallax_method=”on”][et_pb_image src=”http:\/\/skforum.at\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/ivanine_slike_67.jpg” align=”center” _builder_version=”3.17.6″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_divider color=”#2ea3f2″ divider_position=”center” divider_weight=”3px” height=”false” disabled_on=”off|off|off%22″ _builder_version=”3.17.6″ max_width=”150px” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”30px|||” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”top” animation_delay=”100ms” animation_intensity_slide=”10%” locked=”off”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text admin_label=”Image” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ text_font=”|600|||||||” text_font_size=”30px” text_orientation=”center”]U PREDVE\u010cERJE[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=”Slika” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ text_font=”||||||||” text_text_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.7)” text_font_size=”15px” text_font_size_phone=”13px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” max_width=”50%” max_width_last_edited=”on|desktop” module_alignment=”right” custom_margin=”40px||40px||true” custom_padding_tablet=”|20px||20px||true” custom_padding_phone=”|15px||15px||true” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone”]– Ivana Zaji\u0107 (1979), pravnik, Kru\u0161evac<\/em>
\n[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”drop-caps” _builder_version=”3.17.6″ text_text_color=”#000000″ text_font_size=”15px” text_font_size_phone=”13px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” max_width=”85%” max_width_last_edited=”on|desktop” module_alignment=”center” custom_margin=”40px||40px||true” custom_padding_tablet=”|20px||20px||true” custom_padding_phone=”|15px||15px||true” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone”]Drvene stolice, presvu\u010dene finim meblom, po \u0161est pore\u0111anih u pravilnom nizu oko pravougaonih stolova, prekrivenih ru\u010dno izvezenim stolnjacima, \u017eeljno i\u0161\u010dekuju prve goste, koji se, jedan po jedan, poput mrava roje na kafanskoj terasi u Knez-Mihailovoj ulici, poplo\u010danoj sivim mermerom, po kojem zaljubljenici u svoj grad, me\u0111u koje se mo\u017eda slu\u010dajno u\u0161unjao neki novope\u010deni do\u0161ljak, koje jo\u0161 nije uhvatilo ludilo pijanstva, ali i oni, poput mene, nogu nazuvenih lakim patikama, odmaraju tabane pred smiraj napornog dana. Posmatram ljudske figure kako se preda mnom lagano ni\u017eu i, kao po dogovoru, zauzimaju svaka svoje mesto za stolom, dok meni, po nepisanom pravilu, koje datira, reklo bi se jo\u0161 s po\u010detka devedesetih, kada sam, kao u\u010denica petog razreda prvog dana u novoj \u0161kolskoj sredini zauzela poslednje mesto u uglu do zida i ba\u0161 tada bejah nosila elegantnu haljinu, koja je drasti\u010dno odudarala od odevnog stila mojih vr\u0161njaka, kao \u0161to i ve\u010dera\u0161nji d\u017eins i patike na meni ne prili\u010de eleganciji beogradske elite, ostavljaju jedno neupra\u017enjeno mesto na kraju reda. Ali, nasuprot tome prvom septembru, kada smo o\u010di skrivali od sun\u010devih zraka, \u0161to su nam, prodiru\u0107i kroz prozorska okna, zajedno sa zvucima dotrajalih traktora i zapu\u0161tenih, neretko i ruiniranih automobila, odvla\u010dili pa\u017enju od ionako dosadne besede nastavnika na po\u010detnim \u0161kolskim \u010dasovima, i kad smo svi jo\u0161 uvek na telu ose\u0107ali miris leta i slani ukus mora, u ovome \u010dasu tela smo \u0161titili podebljim sakoima, neretko i mantilima, jer, iako je miholjsko leto u jeku, svima je kalendarsko vreme u mislima, ako ve\u0107 uredno pore\u0111ane, nepogre\u0161ive brojke nisu prona\u0161le mesta u nekom unutra\u0161njem d\u017eepu.
\n U ustima jo\u0161 uvek ose\u0107am opori ukus jabuka, kupljenih danas negde oko podneva na zelenoj pijaci, koje su me, moram priznati, namamile izgledom, jer im je plod naprosto sijao iako su na kori, svaka od njih ponaosob, nosile tragove hemijskih supstanci, koje je bilo nemogu\u0107e do detalja isprati. No, u ovome se trenutku trudim da usnu duplju, namirisanu jodom i alkoholom, koliko-toliko isperem, samo sam se prili\u010dno dugo dvoumila oko toga \u0161ta da naru\u010dim, jer mi je i konobar, odeven u belo, saterao misli u \u0107orsokak, onaj isti kojm sam se celog bogovetnog dana vucarala i \u010diji sam davno zaboravljeni miris jo\u0161 uvek nosila na svakom delu izmrcvarenog tela. Satima sam se borila da odagnam od sebe sliku klini\u010dkog bolni\u010dkog centra, u kojem je vladao strogi formalizam i gde su zdravstveni radnici, u\u010deni da poma\u017eu bolesnima, mirno prolazili pokraj obogaljenih pacijenata, \u0161to su se, \u010dekaju\u0107i u redu na pregled, iznemogli od bolova, previjali po podu. I posle, dok sam se kretala duga\u010dkim hodnikom nervnog odeljenja da bih posetila prijateljicu koja je na le\u010denju, zastajao bi mi dah svaki put kad bi pokraj mene pro\u0161ao neki izbezumljeni nesre\u0107nik, kojeg je medicinsko osoblje, ve\u0107ma oguglalo na takve pojave, uporno nastojalo da ignori\u0161e, tako da sam, po zavr\u0161etku posete, na ulicu iza\u0161la kao sumanuta.
\n Ni sama ne znam kako sam skupila snage da se spremim za obilazak umetni\u010dke galerije i Narodnog muzeja. Valjda me je hrabrilo to \u0161to idem sa grupom turista, pa kuda bi oni krenuli, za njima bih, kao po taktu, potr\u010dkivala, trude\u0107i se pri tom da u glavi saberem ono \u0161to vidim, ali sam, za svaki slu\u010daj u torbi za ramenom nosila bele\u017enicu, u kojoj sam utiske upakovane i fino pore\u0111ane u fotografskom aparatu na svakom koraku, kad bi mi se ukazala prilika, potkrepljivala re\u010dima.
\n Samo, nisam znala kako da u ovom trenutku samu sebe okrepim, jer sam uveliko ose\u0107ala da mi stopala gore i da se ta vrelina polako uzdi\u017ee i probija do najtatanijih mo\u017edanih vijuga. Zatra\u017eila sam od konobara da mi donese limunadu, ra\u010dunam, samo se kiselinom mo\u017ee odagnati gor\u010dina, bolje nego slatkim sokom ili kola\u010dima (tako bih samo povisila \u0161e\u0107er u krvi i naterala nervozu, koja je ionako, negde skrivena, potajno tinjala, tako da je ni sama u moru pome\u0161anih emocija nisam mogla razaznati, ili sam barem podsvesno nastojala da je ignori\u0161em), i dok sam o\u010dekivala pi\u0107e, neprestano sam unezvereno lutala pogledom posmatraju\u0107i okolinu, koja je u sebi nosila toliko razli\u010ditosti na ne tako malom prostoru i prosto nisam znala kom delu pripadam i da li se uop\u0161te uklapam u ovu naizgled slu\u0111enu i pometenu kolote\u010dinu, sastavljenu od ljudskih tela, \u010dije su du\u0161e, izgubiv\u0161i ose\u0107aj za ono \u0161to jesu ili, bolje re\u0107i za ono \u0161to bi, po op\u0161teprihva\u0107enim hri\u0161\u0107anskim normama trebalo da budu, bezglavo kidisale za novcem, ne ustru\u010davaju\u0107i se pri tom da posegnu ni za revolverom, koji su neretko beogradski mafija\u0161i dr\u017eali za opasa\u010dem dok im je policija, podlo\u017ena mitu i korupciji, tr\u010dala za petama, i sama vi\u0161e \u017eeljna novca nego pravde.
\n Gu\u0161i me ovaj beogradski vazduh, u kojem ko\u0161ava pome\u0161ana sa zadimljenim vazduhom, koji svojom silinom otkida atome mog za\u017earenog tela, \u010diji po\u017ear uporno, ali izgleda bezuspe\u0161no, poku\u0161avam da ubla\u017eim prohladnim napitkom, mrsi moju kosu i, \u0161to je najgore, izmu\u010dena glava, nenaviknuta na promene i te\u0161ko prilagodljiva na novu klimu, pred naletom vetra, nesnonsno po\u010dinje da bridi. Do\u0111e mi da sko\u010dim sa Brankovog mosta u Dunav pa da je s u\u017eivanjem rashladim. E, mnogi su sa ovoga mosta skakali kad bi im ogor\u010deni \u017eivot dozlogrdio, a mnogi ga i branili kad nam je bilo najte\u017ee. Pa, pomislih, i sama jednog trenutka ozloje\u0111ena, bilo je i te\u017eih trenutaka u mom \u017eivotu, i osvrnuv\u0161i se oko sebe opazih grupu besku\u0107nika kako se vuku betonskim plo\u010dnikom, nose\u0107i za ramenom ili o le\u0111ima kojekakve muzi\u010dke instrumente, kojim su o\u010dito na nekom trgu zabavljali dokonu masu. Primetih kako su im dotrajala odela oro\u0161ena ki\u0161nim kapima, te na brzinu sa kelnerom izmirih ra\u010dun da bih i sama umakla pljusku.
\n Na momente sam bila u dilemi da li da tr\u010dim za autobusom, ali sam ubrzo shvatila da ga ne mogu susti\u0107i i da \u0107e mi se to unekoliko, kao pomahnitalom lovcu iz filma Ko to tamo peva, mo\u017eda i posre\u0107iti, jer ko zna kakve sve nevolje i danas vrebaju na ulici i da je bolje da pozovem taksi, iako ovu uslugu mnogi u dana\u0161nje vreme smatraju luksuzom, ali svakako mi se ne bi isplatilo guranje kroz uspani\u010denu masu da bih do\u0161la do hotela, kojem, uzgred re\u010deno, nisam ni zapamtila adresu, ve\u0107 sam ceduljicu sa ulicom i brojem gurnula u neki ugao torbe i sad je verovatno u prvi mah po ovoj pomra\u010dini ne bih ni mogla zapaziti, a taksisti je dovoljno re\u0107i samo hotel Hajat pa da usmeri volan u zadatom pravcu. I mada sam znala da \u0107u na kraju puta dospeti do \u017eeljenog mesta, jednoli\u010dnost zgrada, koje su pred mojim o\u010dima kroz mokro staklo promicale, izazivale su u meni neopisivu strepnju da \u0107u svakoga trenutka samu sebe saterati u \u0107orsokak. Ipak, sve \u0161to se tra\u017eilo od mene, bilo je da naplatim uslugu, \u0161to sam i u\u010dinila sa prili\u010dnom uzrujano\u0161\u0107u, koja se mojim pokretima lako dala otkriti, a da nisam bila svesna njene visine s obzirom na sopstveni standard, koji, po svemu sude\u0107i, znatno, podrazumeva se u negativnom smislu, odudara od ovda\u0161njeg, velegradskog.
\nStotinu puta sam se pitala \u0161ta mi je sve ovo trebalo i isto toliko puta ube\u0111ivala sebe, dok sam se liftom uspinjala do hotelske sobe i kasnije, dok sam duga\u010dkim hodnikom, prepunim glamura, gde svaki, i najmanji pogre\u0161an korak, mo\u017ee prouzrokovati neprocenjivu \u0161tetu, da ovakav \u017eivot nije za mene. Ali, kad sam se ve\u0107 uhvatila u ko\u0161tac sa zadatkom, da barem isteram stvari do kraja. Samo, nakon svega \u0161to sam danas videla, potreban mi je najpre mir i relaksacija.
\n Sivilo no\u0107i, pro\u0161arano sjajem uli\u010dnih svetiljki, zaklanjalo je velegrad od mojih o\u010diju, preko kojih je iz tu\u0161a u kupatilu tekla mlaka voda, da, upravo to mi je bilo neophodno za smirenje, prodiru\u0107i preko uzavrelog tela do samih peta, zavla\u010de\u0107i se pri tom u svaku poru, u svaki atom moga bi\u0107a.
\nOse\u0107am da me velegradski vazduh omamljuje, ali radoznalost koja je u meni do ju\u010dera\u0161njeg dana kipela, danas je u ogromnoj meri zadovoljena. Bar su se o\u010di napile sjaja, ako je ve\u0107 telo, pod \u010dijom ko\u017eom kosti pucaju dok ih tarem pe\u0161kirom, namu\u010deno. Nadam se da \u0107u do sutra u podne smognuti snage da napi\u0161em reporta\u017eu.
\n Pa, da po\u010dnemo. Danas je trideseti septembar, godina dvehiljade deseta…[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”3.17.6″ text_font=”||||||||” text_text_color=”rgba(0,0,0,0.7)” text_font_size=”15px” text_font_size_phone=”13px” text_font_size_last_edited=”on|phone” max_width=”20%” max_width_last_edited=”on|desktop” module_alignment=”right” custom_margin=”40px||40px||true” custom_padding_tablet=”|20px||20px||true” custom_padding_phone=”|15px||15px||true” custom_padding_last_edited=”on|phone”]<\/p>\n

– jan 11, 2011<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

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Srpski Kulturni Froum<\/p>\n

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KO SMO MI?<\/p>\n

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Misija I Vizija<\/a><\/span>
Na\u0161e Aktivnosti<\/a><\/span>
Drugi o Nama<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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POTREBNA VAM JE POMO\u0106?<\/p>\n

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Generalni Kontakt<\/a><\/span>
\u010clanovi Foruma<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

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PRATITE NAS<\/p>\n

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facebook<\/p>\n

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U PREDVE\u010cERJE- Ivana Zaji\u0107 (1979), pravnik, Kru\u0161evac Drvene stolice, presvu\u010dene finim meblom, po \u0161est pore\u0111anih u pravilnom nizu oko pravougaonih stolova, prekrivenih ru\u010dno izvezenim stolnjacima, \u017eeljno i\u0161\u010dekuju prve goste, koji […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15411,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[148],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-konkursi"],"yoast_head":"\nU PREDVE\u010cERJE | SKForum<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/skforum.at\/wp\/u-predvecerje\/\" \/>\n<meta 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